Nothing could have prepared me

... for what happened that night as i began my descent into a place that I had avoided all my life. I'd glimpsed it. Even brushed up against it a few times. But as i entered the circle of men that night i knew in my balls that i'd bought a ticket on a ride that i'd never taken before.

The men in this place were like granite -- their eyes glinted with a flinty hardness. And yet, there was something else here. Something soft and alive behind that granite black wall of men. It felt like a giant beating heart. And here's the thing: what happened that weekend is confidential. It was revealed in confidence. Imparted to men in secret, as it has been down the centuries and millennia. But what's not secret is the fruit that men like me might bear from having had the experience.

What i got is hard to say in a few words but a year later my life looks and feels better than i could have imagined.

How did i put it to a bloke the other day?" I feel omnipotent," I said, rather grandly. "I feel like there's nothing i can't do. I feel all of the wide-eyed enthusiasm and joy of being a boy all over again. I feel that life offers me a dizzying palate of possibilities again. Every moment zings with colour and nuance and texture, and at the core of this my renewed capacity to feel my life again."

Here’s how another man described his experience:
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