I came to the project a year ago

... through a man called Shawn who said he'd been living in fear and denial. His fear, he said, was a fear of men. A fear of being real and truthful. Of being honest with the men in his life.

"I didn't trust men," he said matter of factly, as we ate lunch together. As he said these words I felt fear and shame. I said nothing but as he continued to speak my feelings rose and lodged somewhere in my heart and my guts. I shoved them down, as I was used to doing, away from scrutiny. Far from the tender parts of me that could feel anything at all.

Shawn said that he'd been on an adventure -- something he called the New Warrior Training Adventure. He said: "This might sound cliched, but the weekend i went on was the most incredible journey, the most amazing and wonderful thing i've done or witnessed in my life.

I offered him my interested, smiling face, not the cynical one that said said, "What a wank. Sorry, not for me. I am not a flaky new age mea who calls men "brother". I told myself that I knew all about Shawn's mates and his his weekend adventure. "I am not into navel gazing neo-hippies and burnt out blokes who'd missed the boat," I told myself. "I am not interested in hanging out with dreamers and failures and losers."

Except Shawn did not fit the bill. He was a man ththat I admired and trusted. A likeable man. An interesting, successful man. And here he was sitting across the table from me, brimming with life and vitality. His his eyes were shining with the memory of something beautiful. Something utterly compelling. Something that I was hungry for.